Run Away

 On Tuesday, one of my students ran away. She became upset and stormed out of the room. I went to check on her and she had her coat pulled up over her entire body, hugging her knees on the floor. When I asked her gently to come back inside, she refused. I told her that if she didn't come back in, I'd have to call so someone could come check on her. "I DON'T CARE!" she screamed back. 

I stepped in my room to make the phone call. By the time the admin got there, which was two minutes max, she was gone. 

This has happened before - students fleeing when they're upset, knowing someone will come after them. But every time it's happened with one of my kids, they've been hiding in the bathroom. Emma Jean wasn't in the bathroom. 

I looked out and saw multiple administration in the hallway, concerned conversations passing between them. I kept sticking my head out the door in hopes for some information, but within a few minutes everyone in the hall was gone. Shortly after that we went into perimeter lockdown.

Perimeter lockdown means every kid has to stay in their classroom. You can keep teaching, but you cover your windows and no one's allowed out. My kids were panicking, Is it because they lost Emma Jean? Is Emma Jean okay? Where's Emma Jean?

I told them stay calm and just keep working on their math assignment - Emma Jean was just fine. But inside I was panicking a little. Walk through two sets of doors a few feet from my classroom and you'll find yourself outside. It doesn't take too long from there to get to the road.

Emma Jean told me she was planning to run away today, Bryson said as I passed his desk.

I remained in the classroom, pacing back and forth, calming down my kids, until the perimeter was finally lifted about fifteen minutes later. I checked my email to see the reason for the lockdown sent out to the teachers, Missing Student - Fourth Grade Emma Jean. If you've seen her, let admin know immediately. Attached to the email was her sweet, sweet face, her shoulders raised up in her adorable stance she does when she smiles.

I got a call soon after, asking about what caused her to leave the room, and soon after that my principal stopped by to grab her stuff so she could go home.

Ember, her best friend, told me at recess afterward, I'm going to use a lot of caution now. If she runs away, the first thing I'll do is tell you. And yes, she did say she will use a lot of caution, just like that. Ember talks like an adult, which is one of the many quirks I love about that girl.

It's hard for Emma Jean to come to school sometimes. She finds some aspects of school really overwhelming, math especially. She's been sick and so she's been out a lot, and as a result it's getting harder and harder for her to come back in, to get back into a good groove. 

Yesterday Emma Jean was asked to stay home, as our team was coming up with a safety plan. They said the probability of her running away again is very high, and her threat is to try to run home. During the meeting, one of the school counselors asked me how I was feeling about it all, and if there was anything they could do to support me.

Honestly it's just hard to keep track of them all. I have 26 kids, so making sure they're all where they need to be is overwhelming. And Emma Jean gets pulled multiple times a day for group, so I need to figure out how to know when she's supposed to be there, and when it's okay that she's not.

One of my principals suggested I put a bell on the door and always keep it locked - that way there's no way for her to get out of the room without me noticing. To be honest, that's a really good idea that sounds insanely annoying. It's already loud enough in that little space - the last thing I want is to hear the constant dinging of a bell.

I told them I have a lot of peace of mind because of Ember - I've talked to her about letting me know anytime Emma Jean leaves, and I have 100% certainty that she will do that. From there we came up with the idea of talking to my whole class, just letting them know what's going on and asking them to all help look out for Emma Jean.

So this morning, right after school started, I told my kids we were going to have a little talk. I asked how many of them have ever not wanted to come to school. Every student raised their hand. What are some reasons you don't want to come? I asked. Too tired - I want to keep sleeping. I'm nervous about something. I just want to stay home all day.

Right now, it's really hard for Emma Jean to come to school, I said. She may be feeling really nervous, or like it's a scary place right now. What are some things we can do to make it easier for her?

The kids shared several ideas. Ask her to play with me at recess. Ask her how she's doing. Tell her something nice. Write her a note. Make her a poster. Everyone got really excited about that last one.

Those are great ideas. And also, I need your help. It is so important than we keep everyone safe. And right now, sometimes Emma Jean wants to leave the room. I need your help in making sure she's with us when she's supposed to be. If you ever ever ever notice that Emma Jean isn't here, please let me know - first thing. I don't care if I'm teaching - you can interrupt me anytime. That's way more important.

The kids seemed to hear what I was saying. And then they asked me if they could start the posters. I was about to say we could do it later, as we had to transition to ELA in the next ten minutes, but what's more annoying than someone asking for your idea and then not even taking it? So I told them they had to be fast, and soon enough they were all gathered in corners of the room, writing and coloring and drawing away.

Emma Jean spent the day with us today. Gosh I've missed her - we all have. She lights up the room. Ember was ecstatic to have her best friend back.

That sweet girl didn't get a moment alone - kids were always surrounding her, checking in on her, holding her up. She loved her posters.

She was pulled a couple times for group, and at one point she let me know she was upset so a school counselor took her out to give her a break. I had multiple kids come up to me throughout these times, Um, Miss Seals, Emma Jean isn't here. I assured them she was okay, and thanked them for checking.

And now I'm not overwhelmed at all - not when it comes to keeping my eyes on Emma Jean. Because I have 25 kids who are looking out for her, too. 25 little friends who care about her so deeply, who love so hard, right where it counts. And it's all of them - every single one. Kids who've played with her every day all year and kids who run in a different group - they're all there, they're all in. And who needs a bell when you've got that?